It doesn’t matter if you’re single or you’re in a relationship – we all deserve to feel like VIPs. I am single and I’m not ashamed of it. I’d rather be single than go out with a love rat douchebag like Russell Brand (no offense, Jemima Khan!) However, until recently the nights I went out looking for a potential Mr Right have not been very VIP. And to be honest, neither have the first dates.
On 12 February 2014, something happened that I am pretty positive will transform my dating life and make it as fabulous as the rest of my life. I found the dating website DoingSomething.co.uk and I sat in an igloo on the 69th floor of The Shard. (These two are related, trust me ).
But first, let me put into context why I personally need something like DoingSomething.co.uk. Being an open minded person I once accepted an invitation to speed dating. This is where an equal number of guys and girls sit opposite each other on a row of tables. After three minutes the girls stay where they are and the boys move down the row, taking their seat opposite a new girl.The idea is you can fit 20 ‘dates’ into one hour.
The one I did was at a nightclub in the early evening and you could really see why the venue was only normally used in the dark. The club was dirty and it smelled! The night also stank ( although not in the literal sense) as we got three cringeworthy minutes to chat about ourselves with a series of men. I didn’t find any attractive. If you don’t fancy someone then spending three minutes talking to them is too long. I think you can tell if you fancy someone in the first 30 seconds. This makes it two and a half minutes too long…every single time. Ok, I know it gives people a chance to use their personality to win others over but I would rather stand up instead of sitting round a table and have the option of talking to some people for more than three minutes and others for less than three minutes (or not at all).
Next I decided to try Tinder, which a lot of my friends seem to be on. The advantages are that it’s super quick – all you need to do is download an App, register your details, pick five of your best photos and you’re ready to go. There’s no need for a cringeworthy description of yourself and you can’t message anyone unless you find out your potential love interest has shown interest in you too, thereby eliminating lots of messages from annoying suitors. Another advantage is it seems more socially acceptable than a ‘dating website’. My friends and I are not ashamed to admit we’re on it. In fact, sometimes we help each other decide whether to swipe yes or no for a potential date when we meet up on a night out.
However, after meeting two guys in person (and talking to a lot more through the battery-draining App) I felt there were more negatives than positives. As it’s so easy to meet a guy it’s so easy to lose one…mysteriously. You might be chatting to a guy one day, exchanging flirty banter and sharing witty anecdotes, and then you might not hear from him again…ever! It’s not like they say ‘goodbye’, it’s like a crater has 0pened and swallowed them off the face of the earth. And then I worked it out – the crater is someone else they find more attractive than you, solely based on the photo the other person has uploaded to the App. How shallow is that?
Secondly, even when you do get round to meeting a guy, pretty much the same thing could happen again. I truly believe people are only as faithful as their options and Tinder opens up a whole new world of opportunity. If you meet up with someone and they don’t like the way you eat an endamame bean, they can arrange a date with someone else the next night. People are scared to commit as they never know who is waiting a few swipes away. And yet again, the manners to say ‘I’ve met someone else’ or ‘thanks but no thanks’ doesn’t exist. You’re just left in limbo, and you sort of start to analyse what you did wrong until you realise it’s the other person’s loss. If Tinder makes you feel anything less than your gorgeous and amazing self then please don’t do it. It’s not VIP to suffer a crisis in confidence.
However, what I do find VIP is sitting in an igloo, looking out over London’s skyline, which I did thanks to the website DoingSomething.co.uk, as you can see from the photo above. How many people have ever experienced as random as this? Exactly! That’s why it’s VIP.
The USP of DoingSomething is that you decide on something you really want to do and see if there’s anyone out there that shares your date idea. It could be one of London’s museums or art galleries after hours, it could be a ghost walk or it could be a sushi making class but what it won’t be is boring. A reason I don’t enjoy the process of dating is because I get bored going for drinks with someone new, asking the same old questions and giving the same old answers. And if you know you don’t like someone in the first few minutes you feel like you’ve wasted an evening that could have been better spent in a gallery or museum or even at the gym. With DoingSomething you’ll have had a fun evening, even if you don’t meet the person of your dreams.
I have to admit this is kind of what happened to me at The Shard event. I was able to enjoy a party in a fabulous venue and look out over the London skyline (check out my view of Tower Bridge above) but I did not leave with a phone number. And you know what? I genuinely d0n’t care. I’d rather not meet anyone at all than meet a Fake Tinder Type who is all into you at first then disappears without any excuse at all.
I feel like I should go back on DoingSomething, invest time in a few more dates and see what happens. And at least the time I spend dating. I feel like I’m using enriching my life as there are things I’ve always wanted to do in London and been too shy to ask my friends to do with me.
The toilets in the Shard are quite unique – as you can see from the photo below – and I think it was while I was in the loo that night that I had a lightbulb moment. Look at how big and how fabulous London is and it’s just one city in the world, not even a big city if you compare it to somewhere like Mumbai. My Prince Charming is waiting for me and I need to get out more (in a non-work related capacity) to increase the chances we find each other.
I’ll keep you posted on any dates I go on! And I am up for any matchmaking any readers want to throw into the mix as well. Please Tweet @livelikeavip if you know of any hot single guys for me. You can also email email@example.com
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